On Goal Setting

Bout to get a little introspective, bear with me.

A PCV friend of mine pointed out this past week that I am “all about that goal setting.” And it got me thinking about one of the ways I had changed since coming here 9 months ago (uhhh what? 9 Months?!?) In my last post I talked about being more introverted as a way to adapt to isolation. I don’t think this personality change is as drastic, but it certainly is significant. See I haven’t always been so goal oriented. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing I love more than a long to-do list and the feeling of accomplishment when they are all crossed off, but that’s not the way that I have become goal oriented. Sure I still make lists, but I also make goals. I hadn’t realized it until Bri pointed it out, but at any given moment I have 3-4 different ways that I am setting goals for myself. Every day that I journal, I write one goal for the day and one thing I am grateful for, I have multiple friends who are tasked with checking up on my progress of other personal goals (working out, studying Portuguese, etc.), and just this past week I wrote myself 5 easily measurable goals that I consciously tried to accomplish every day. I’d like to share those here:

1. Avoid sugar until after the marathon
2. Eat less bread
3. No TV/Movies during the day
4. Put phone away while at school (wasn’t using it during class, I meant during class changes when I could be socializing)
5. Do one thing that scares you every day (Thanks Eleanor Roosevelt)

Number 5 is my favorite. Because of Number 5 alone I have gotten more done this week than the last 4 weeks combined, because it turns out most of what scares me is talking to important people. These 5 things were weaknesses I identified in my life here that I knew how to melhorar. I’m not aiming for perfection, just improvement. Out of the five weekdays last week I only had one “perfect” day where I did all 5, but even on the other 4 days, I was happier. The point is, I don’t know when or why I became this goal oriented person, but I’m pretty happy that I have. Having a tangible way to see your progress is an incredible motivator, however I know it is not my only driving force. I am not an intrinsically motivated person. I am passionate, but not motivated. Have no fear though, our phenomenal network of PCVs once again saves the day. I mentioned earlier that I have people checking in on certain goals, but even those who I haven’t asked to do so are happy to step up. It doesn’t matter how goal oriented I become, if I have people holding me accountable for things I am 100x more likely to do them. It is because of this network that I am still running a marathon in July, that I’ve started journaling regularly, that I have had tough conversations or met new people, and so much more. There are even days that telling someone I was going to do laundry is the only reason the laundry actually gets done. So, while I am pretty proud of myself for how far I have come over the first third of my service (I KNOW, TIME IS FLYING), I am even more grateful for the people who have pushed (and pulled) me that far.

So, if you would like to join the ranks of people I send sweaty selfies to after I exercise to motivate you to do something active, or you’d like me to be the one holding you accountable for something, let me know! One last thing – on the topic of goal setting I have something I just have to share. There is a community in southern Moz that could use our help reaching one of their goals. I won’t try to tell their story because it is written so beautifully on this page, but please take a minute to click on this link. If you want an idea of what teaching (and more importantly, learning) conditions are like in our schools, read this story. And if you can spare a few dollars, I promise it’ll go a long way. If not that’s totally fine, check out the story anyway and keep it in the back of your mind as you go about your day – recognizing our privilege is a necessity and an extremely powerful tool for change. https://fundly.com/desks-for-mozambican-high-school

Okay that’s all for this time, do me a favor and do something that scares you today (and then tell me about it!).

Much Love,

A

Alli the Extrovert

Peace Corps is isolating. Duh. We’ve got the isolation you feel when life back home continues without you, the isolation you experience by not speaking the local languages or even not being able to express yourself in the official language, and then you’ve got the geographic isolation by being placed so far away from other volunteers. These types of isolation can be (and are) applicable to all PCVs in all countries, but are then compounded by our situational differences. We talk about this isolation a lot because it seems as though even the most extroverted people become more introverted once they are at site. I believe it’s a combination of factors including how exhausting it is to constantly have to break cultural and lingual barriers in order to communicate, or just living alone for one of the first times, but I’ve talked to many fellow PCVs who feel like they now get their energy from being alone whereas that wasn’t the case for them before PC. I am one of those people. When I am at site I long for the couple hours a day when no one is knocking on my door or stopping me in the market. I used to absolutely despise being alone, but now I require it. This past week however, I was reintroduced to an old friend – Alli the Extrovert.

Last week we had two conferences – Reconnect and Project Design and Management. These are PC conferences that for us happen after you’ve been at site for about 6 months (can you believe it has been that long??? I Can’t!) and were planned for last week because it was in between trimesters for school so we didn’t miss any class. The first conference was two days with just the northern 29ers (there are 22 of us) where we could share about our sites, talk about challenges we’ve been facing, and just generally reconnect with each other. After that we were joined by one of our Mozambican counterparts from site who was there to learn how to design and fund a project with us. I found both conferences extremely helpful and am ready to hit the ground running with some projects.

Beyond the actual purpose of the meetings, PC conferences always mean being reunited with friends. While I have great friends all over the country that I wish I could see more, the crew up in the North is a good one and I was extremely excited to be with them for a week. What I didn’t realize beforehand though, was how much of my identity I had lost in becoming an introvert at site. When I moved in here I adapted to my life by starting to appreciate being alone, which I in no way think is a bad thing, but once I was back with a big group of people for pretty much the first time since swearing-in, I realized that is not who I am. I thrived in a big group. I was thrilled to have so many people around to talk to and really enjoyed when that big group hung out together for days on end. I expected to be like a lot of my friends who needed time to decompress and be alone a bit during the week, but that never hit me. I had 5 months of extrovertedness stored up and it all came flowing out of me. I talked so much in the past week that I lost my voice and it was totally worth it. But for this I would also like to apologize to my friends who I might have annoyed. I do understand exactly how obnoxious a raging extrovert like myself can be when you are not also a raging extrovert, and I am genuinely sorry.

The week was capped by a visit from one of my closest and favorite friends, Jess, who flew all the way up from Maputo to spend a couple of days with us in the North. We spent the days wandering the city, spending too much money on capulanas and food, and enjoying being with our little group from training – the Kala Kala Kids.

I knew after being surrounded by friends for 10 days it would be hard to return to site but I was also ready to get back. I missed my routine and my kids, and even my alone time just a tiny bit. This trip was a good reminder to me that even with the changes I make to get through the tough times at site, I also have to stay true to who I am. I cannot just rely on conferences or get-togethers to unleash the super social side of myself, and instead have to find a group to become comfortable with here in Macomia as well. And with that I’m going to get off my computer and go find some friends. I know I haven’t blogged in a while so I will try to make my next post more about what’s going on in my day-to-day life, but until then I hope you enjoy these ramblings!

 

Much Love,

Alli